Gain Confidence and Success By Letting Go of Your Insecurities

Do you fear to fail? Fear of failure is often the source of our insecurities. This could be a good thing when you’re weighing the risk versus reward of doing something that puts you in danger.


Unfortunately, your insecurities just hold you back from having what you want in life. Insecurities can affect so many different areas of your life: your career, your relationships and your overall well-being.


Insecurities can prevent you from getting whatever it is you want. When you don’t feel like you are good enough, it becomes difficult to even try. When you do try, your insecurities may show through and undermine you.  At work, this could mean that you do not land the client or the project you have worked for.


Your relationships can also suffer when you are insecure. If you’re constantly worried that your significant other is cheating on you, or is planning to leave you for someone else, this can put a lot of strain on your relationship.


Financial insecurities are also very common and the fear of making the wrong decisioncan prevent you from making any decisions about investments. This can lead to lost opportunities.


Does thinking about insecurities make you feel even more insecure? There are steps you can take to gain confidence and overcome your insecurities:


  1. Examine your insecurities objectively. Determine what it is you are insecure about and be aware of your insecurities is the first step in overcoming them. Try to be objective by considering what you would tell someone else in the same situation. If you’re insecure about an upcoming client presentation, think about what advice you would give to someone in the same situation.


  1. List your fears. Write down the things that make you uncomfortable and why you think they cause you to be afraid. Writing down what is in your head is a great way to be more objective.  It is likely that what was SO big in your head is not nearly so overwhelming when you write it down.  Take the time to examine your list and determine whether or not these are legitimate, rational concerns. It is perfectly natural to have a fear of failure.  At the same time, it’s imperative that you don’t let your fear overwhelm so that it prevents you from going after, and getting, the things you want.


  1. Build on past successes. Many times, insecurities stem from a traumatic experience in the past. When you focus on the negative events it is hard to look towards a positive future.  Instead, remember all of the positive experiences and what you have learned.

Perhaps you had a client presentation that went very badly and left you feeling defeated. Whatever the situation, let it go so that you can move past it.

Dwelling on all the times when you have experienced success will help you feel more capable, increase your confidence and allow you to let go of your insecurities.


  1. Recognize you cannot control others. The only one you can control is yourself.  How someone will behave or react is difficult to predict.  Your client may decide that you aren’t the right person for the project or your significant other may decide to break up with you and move to another relationship.  These things are out of your control.  Your actions and reactions are the only thing that you can take ownership of and control.

You can do everything right to land that client, but that doesn’t mean they will choose to work with you.  You can work hard to be the best boyfriend or girlfriend. Focus on those things that are within your control and accept the results.  You may discover that the client was impossible to please or you could even find your soulmate tomorrow.


When you focus on the negative in any situation, including your insecurities, you are creating your own reality. You could lost a client because you believe you are unworthy or you can drive people away in relationships. Implement these strategies to get past your insecurities. Let go of your insecurities, focus on the positive and project confidence. Give yourself the best chance to succeed.

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