How to Create a Support System That Actually Supports You

Humans are social beings. With the exception of some survivalists, we crave interactions with others. That’s why we create friendships and other types of relationships.  We like to share our life experience with others, even if only to talk about our experiences.

Life isn’t easy. Everyone faces challenges.  What makes dealing with those challenges less difficult is to face them with others.

Having a support system or a network of those you can rely upon makes life just that much more enjoyable.

Perhaps the best way to receive support is to be supportive of others. People naturally reciprocate. “Give and ye shall receive.”

Here are a number of ways to get the support that you need:

  1. Clarify and visualize. What does your support system look like? What do you need it to be able to provide for you? Someone who will make you light no matter what is going on? A shoulder to cry on? Are you dealing with an illness? Or do you simply need a reliable friend? Once you know what you want from your support system and what it will look like, you can begin building it.
  1. Start at home. The obvious starting point for creating a support system is family and close friends. Consider your relationships. You have to be willing to ask for help. And they need to be willing to give it. It’s also important to provide support when others are in need. Start by considering your close friends and branch out to more casual friends and coworkers. You might have a few neighbors, too.

  1. Discover new relationships. There are a number of ways that you can find people who may become friends or mentors for you. These people can become part of your support system. Remember it is important to first give and then receive.

Consider your hobbies. People with the same hobbies often have a lot in common.

Spiritual mentor. Whatever religion or spiritual path you follow; a mentor can be a huge help in guiding you.

Career mentor. This could be someone where you work, from another company or who is retired. Having someone who is familiar with your situation is incredibly helpful.

Join a team or club. Playing with a team is a great way to bond. There are many types of clubs out there including hiking, physics or quilting clubs. Find something you enjoy.

Volunteer. When you volunteer you take the focus off of yourself. Volunteering may provide a new perspective – the problems you thought you had may be much less important than you thought. You may find that your fellow volunteers are supportive of you.

  1. Attitude of openness. Others are much more likely to be empathetic if you’re able to be open. Share your story and allow others to see that you need help.
  1. Ask “The Google”. Whenever you are in doubt, you can search for an answer online. “Google it” has become synonymous with searching for something online. Or as my husband likes to say just ask “The Google.” There is so much information and advice to be found. It is simple to be anonymous online. There are and endless number of online support groups and forums ready, willing, and able to help give you the advice and support you need.
  1. Support groups. Talking with others who have similar experiences allows you to express yourself and feel supported. There are many groups out there dealing with issues like the death of a loved one, cancer or alcoholism.
  1. Get professional help. There is much less stigma attached to mental and emotional health than there was 10 or 20 years ago, but, unfortunately, it still exists. Make sure that you get the help you need. If you want it to be discreet, don’t go on social media and post about it. There’s plenty of help available. Talking to an expert can be of great help.

Create your support system you need now – before you need it – so that it will be able to support you when you need it. Trying to create a support system when you are already needing support is much more difficult. Remember that you need to give in order to get so be a good friend and you’ll be able to expect the same in return. Have their best interests at heart and they will have yours.

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