The Lies You Tell that Hurt the Most

Most people lie on a daily basis. They are likely mean and nasty and a bit of a bully. You would never tolerate this kind of behavior from anyone else.

But you have good reasons, so it should be okay, right?

Sorry, it’s not okay. It’s not right.

The person you lie to is yourself. You lie to avoid risks, to cover up whatever it is you may be ashamed of or perceive as being not good enough. You lie because you do not feel confident. Granted we may feel better in the short term, but at what cost?

Unfortunately, the same lies prevent us from living fully and enjoying our lives.

Do you tell yourself any of the following lies?

  1. “I don’t have a choice.” You always have a choice. This is a victim mentality and you are giving away your power. Someone else is in control of your life, not you. Do you really want someone else to decide what is right for you? You may need courage to actually consider this but you do have options. Consider what advice you would give a friend in a similar situation.
  2. “If I do this or say that, people will think less of me.” The harsh truth is that we are very self-absorbed. We are concerned with our own lives and are more likely thinking about others opinions are of them. When you believe that you are worthy, you will not be concerned about what other people think.
  1. “I’m too old.” While it is true that some things may become more challenging as we get older, it is still possible to do them. Don’t sell yourself short.
  1. “If it’s not perfect, it is a failure.” We can all become fairly good at almost anything we work at. It does require time and effort. Striving for perfection when you know you can’t get it is a good way to de-motivate yourself and stay stuck. You would never try anything new because you knew you could not be perfect. Try something and fail joyously. 
  1. “I’d be happy if I had more money.” Believe it or not, if you make more than approximately $70,000 per year then you are as happy as a millionaire. Studies have shown that happiness and income are only correlated up to that point. If you are able to pay your bills, then money isn’t limiting your happiness. Choose to be happy.
  2. “I can change him (or her).” No, you can’t. How easy is it to change yourself when you want to change? It is infinitely harder to change someone else, especially if they don’t want to change.
    • You need to accept others as they are. If you want to change them, then there may be something that you will be unable to deal with in the long-term. Be sure you can deal with that person if they stayed exactly as they are right now.
  1. “I’m not capable.” You are infinitely capable. You just need to believe you can do something and then take the necessary steps to actually do it. You may not enjoy something, you may not want to do it, but you are capable of doing almost anything if you set your mind to it.

We lie to ourselves to protect ourselves, to feel good about ourselves and to stay safe and stuck (not safe and sound). In order to grow and change and become more you need to take risks and leave your comfort zone. You need to be willing to question the lies you tell yourself. Are they really true? Or are you keeping yourself safe. Safe can feel good, but it limits just how much you can get out of your life. Get out there and live!

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