Low self-esteem can often be traced back to experiences during childhood. For those who had a difficult upbringing or suffered through a traumatic event, low self-esteem is fairly common. It’s possible to develop self-esteem issues in adulthood.
The way you see yourself can be affected by many different things and situations. For example, if you are unemployed, go through a divorce, or file bankruptcy, you may internalize these negative experiences and believe that it’s your fault or that you caused these bad things to happen.
It is possible to raise your level of self-esteem. There are a number of steps you can take to increase your self-esteem:
1. Surround yourself with people who build you up and remove or limit your contact with those who tear you down. Spending time with those who are negative will only reinforce your low opinion of yourself. Instead, surround yourself with individuals who are supportive and encouraging.
• If you’re fortunate enough to have positive influences in your life, listen to them and believe them when they say you’ve done a good job.
• Do not ignore compliments. If you were undeserving of praise, you would not be getting it. Accept the compliment and consider writing it down to reread whenever you start to feel your self-esteem dip.
2. Avoid telling yourself you “could have,” “should have,” or “would have.” If you’re constantly telling yourself “I could have done this,” or “I should have done that,” you’re focusing on things that have already happened and that you cannot change. Focus on what you can change and say to yourself: “Next time I’ll do this,” or “I’m going to do that.”
3. Have reasonable expectations. Accept that everyone makes mistakes. It is not possible to be perfect. Do not expect it or you will feel completely discouraged when you inevitably make a mistake. Avoid letting mistakes get you down. Every mistake you make is a chance for you to learn and grow.
4. Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments. If your self-esteem is lacking, you might spend a lot of time focusing on the negative. Recognize your accomplishments and allow yourself to be happy. Be proud of yourself.
5. Volunteer. Working to help others will make you feel good about yourself and help boost your self-esteem. Focusing on something outside yourself will allow you to get out of your own head. It’s difficult to have a poor opinion of yourself when you’re supporting a good cause.
6. Make a list of all your best qualities. Get a pen and paper and write down your strengths, skills, talents, and positive personality traits. When people have low self-esteem, they often focus on all of the things they dislike about themselves. Taking some time to focus on your good qualities can have a very positive effect. When feeling down on yourself, pull out that list and re-read it.
7. Consider getting professional help. In more extreme cases, low self-esteem can have a negative impact on a person’s life and mental health.
• A person with very low self-esteem may have issues in their relationships, trouble in their careers, or a number of other challenges. Sometimes esteem issues can lead to anxiety, isolation, depression, or even suicide.
• If low self-esteem is impacting your work and personal life to the point where you are overwhelmed, you may want to consider seeing a therapist for additional help. A therapist may be able to help you deal with the underlying issues that caused your low self-esteem in the first place. At the very least, they can provide you with strategies for increasing your self-esteem.
There are many factors that can cause or contribute to low self-esteem. The key is to figure out how to start feeling good about yourself again.